naturally unattached

Have you ever watched a bird family? The adult pair spends weeks, months building and preparing the perfect nest for their eggs. Once they’ve settled on the tree, house, they labor every day gathering the right sticks, the necessary pieces of grass to craft a small work of art. Once it’s complete, they’re wholly dedicated to sitting on their eggs, taking turns, never leaving them alone, protecting their children while they remain so vulnerable. After some time, the eggs hatch, and again, the parents labor. They have to fetch food, protect their children. The ultimate payoff comes that first day when the little birds begin to spread their wings and fly. Sometimes they fall, sometimes they struggle, but eventually they soar.

I frequently bring this parallel between a bird family and my family to question. Some birds were born ready to fly; they’re unafraid of spreading their wings and taking that first leap out of the nest. Others take more time, slowly transitioning into the scary, unprotected world. They’ll leave and come back.

Naturally I wonder which is the better bird: the one that takes flight too early, or the one that cautiously approaches life. Where is the balance, the thin line between too early and too late?

I’m a flyer, a frequent flyer at that—my father and I joke that I was walking around on the ground below the tree long before my wings were fully developed. And while the payoffs of leaving the nest early are evident in my accomplishments, I’ve also lost some valuable development. I’ve heard it described as “fearlessness;” I’ve always labeled it as “naivety.” I’m not afraid, no, and I’m not dumb, but I’m still just a little bird taking to flight. There are challenges that come with the beautiful view.

As my life begins to take form, as the choices are more important and substantial than what to do Friday night, I wonder if I’m ready for these big decisions. I wonder if chasing dreams, a flight I launched years ago, is a beautiful challenge I’m prepared to handle. To what extent can I continue to uproot myself, for myself? What sacrifices are necessary, what sacrifices are selfish?

Then I remember, even a bird settles sometime, and while I took to flight early on, it doesn’t mean I’m ready to nest.